A Time To Cry and a Time to Laugh

My sister-in-law reminded me to take my hormone pills today. (Funny, I had just decided that they didn't do a thing for me). As I stand in her kitchen, I'm trying to hold back the tears. (It doesn't seem to make a difference that I've cried most of the morning. Am I crazy, losing it, or are my emotions out of whack? No,it's not any of the above; my feelings were hurt.) She hugs me and tells me that everything will be alright. The most wonderful words ever spoken, whether true or not, and they have a calming effect. I love her for that. She has weathered her own storms and it's still not easy for them. She speaks from faith and experience and I know that she is right. I'm partly ashamed for bringing a sad face and tears to her when she probably needs a little comfort herself. Paul said, "If I make you sorry, who will make me glad?"


I am not a sad person. (I believe everyone should wear a smile and most of the time I do. I've been blessed by God and I've tried to glorify his name in every way I can, which includes a cheery disposition. He has made my life full and wonderful.) Yet, at times, we have things or people in our lives in varying places, who can make day to day living more difficult. Their outlook on life depends almost solely on their feelings and what's happening in their world, and all others are a speed bump on their road to happiness, or misery, as the case may be. (Would they see themselves in the previous sentence or so? Absolutely not.)

It's easy to be injured when co-existing with people who are happy one minute and angry the next. You never know which way the pendulum is going to swing. How can one escape it? One can't unless you just...walk away. That's not an option, or is it? Read on.

I may have discovered a radical therapy to turn about bad behaviors. This work in experimental therapy is purely selfish as I need more peace in my own life. So let's get busy and leave no stone unturned.

The other day I saw a program on training dogs. (I'm thinking of implementing it at home) A couple had two large dogs that made life unbearable and having friends and family over, almost impossible. A trainer came to the house to observe the problem and prescribe an antidote. She saw, for herself, the terrible manners that the dogs displayed. Visitors could hardly enter the home, being greeted by such beasts at the door, they had to push their way through to the living room while the dogs jockeyed along, shoving, barking, jumping, refusing to be controlled at all. This rowdy behavior continued even when the guests were seated. (Sound like anyone you know?)All corrective measures by the owners had failed.

(Everyone listen now, for if this works on people like it does on dogs, it could be the breakthrough that every tired and exhausted mother on the face of the earth had hoped for but thought impossible without the use of "the old fashioned belt" or "switch" - outlawed by the way.) Every time the dogs act badly, the owners were advised to stand up and walk out of the room. They enact this strategy over and over to no avail. Just at the point when they were ready to give up, IT WORKED, it actually worked! A breakthrough was made and the owners were utterly amazed to see a turn-around in the dogs behavior. (Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks.)

Now let the experiment begin. With much prayer and some dog training techniques, I move forward; willing to try anything to make life more pleasurable for all of us.

Let me see, I do want to spend some time with the family...I can't spend all of my time in the next room, waiting to re-enter. I'll have to give it some more thought...humm.

So as you can see, yesterday I cried, today I'm up; laughing, if you will, as I try to work through the little problems that I (we) must wade through from time to time or all the time depending on relationships, whatever or wherever they may be. (Ergonomics - the engineering of people. Is there a training manual? I'm sure there must be and here I am trying to glean tips from the animal kingdom. We'll graduate to human behavior when we get there.) Forgive me, I'm just venting. It's been a trying week. I love my family but sometimes I get tired. (That's when that cheery disposition come in handy!)

Writing is cathartic. I feel better and I am resolved to change...again.

Ecclesiastes 3:4 "A time to weep and a time to laugh..."

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"Wisdom is the principal..."*

In five days it will be my 41^st birthday (July 4^th for those that don’t feel like doing the math and yes, really July 4^th. My blogging buddy will no doubt be surprised that I’m even mentioning this event.) And although the age itself doesn’t bother me (much), it does provide me an opportunity to reflect. I wonder sometimes why the path I thought my life would take has been so different from the actual path. Not different bad, just different. They say that with age comes wisdom, obviously said by someone that possessed it. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not totally inept. I do not run with scissors, I never remove the tags on my pillows or mattresses (you know the ones that say do not remove) and I always wear my seatbelt. I’m talking about the wisdom that life experience is supposed to give you. Oh, I have gained some experience it would be impossible to reach this age and not have learned a few things, but I think, at times, spiritually I feel grass green.


Perhaps I’m feeling nostalgic or melancholy, I’m not sure. I know at times I have surely failed God. Those times I feel like the scripture that says ever learning and never coming to the knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 3:7). I ask myself often if this is normal? I’ve been baptized for 24 years and is it normal to feel unwise at times? I wonder how often in this walk with the Lord will I feel like I’m still “seeing through the glass darkly" (1 Corinthians 13:12).

When I am able to really, truly sit and ponder things objectively, I realize something. That in spite of my shortcomings and failures, real or imagined, God has blessed my life. What would I change if I could? That’s impossible to answer, but if I changed even one thing, I would not be the person I am, the person God has brought along this far. I am a work in progress, with successes and failures, sorrows and joys, I am still moving forward on the path. Not my path but God’s path for me. Another scripture comes to mind "...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." (Philippians 4:11) If I can learn that there may be hope for me yet.

Hmm, could this be a glimmer of wisdom? Who can say...

* Proverbs 4:7

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Avon calling...during testimony?!?

I can’t help it, I am an observer. This probably stems from being painfully shy and somewhat under tall (read: fat) in my youth. I became adept at people watching. So it will come as no surprise to some that know me that I sometimes scan the congregation during church services. Which was precisely what I was doing during the testimony portion of a church service recently.

I like listening to testimonies, I like seeing how God has worked with His children throughout the week. Sometimes they are joyful and your spirit is enlarged just listening to the words expressed, sometimes they are full of sorrow at facing another trial and your heart breaks in commiseration. Regardless of their content testimonies bring us closer together. As I sat there listening, I happened to look down the row I was sitting in and across the aisle I saw two young girls paging through a magazine. At first I thought I need to get my glasses checked. Did I really see them actually paging through a MAGAZINE? I leaned over and asked the sister sitting next to me if they were really looking at a magazine…during testimony! She whispered back, “Yes.” As I looked a little closer, I realized that it was, in fact, an Avon book!!

Now I do not personally have any problem with Avon, or those that sell their products. I’ve purchased Avon in the past and may again. However, two tween-agers perusing this publication while in church sticks in my craw, if you’ll pardon the expression. After the initial wave of shock and incredulity passes, a few questions come to mind. Is nail polish selection so important that we must look at the offerings during church? I missed the memo on that one. Maybe Skin-So-Soft is an absolute must have to be properly outfitted for church. Maybe it IS important to have coordinating eye shadow, blush and lipstick! Again, if this is true I am woefully misinformed. Why does this bother me?

I could say that it bothers me because it is inappropriate to read beauty product magazines in church. I think that many would agree with that statement. But that’s not really what bothers me. What bothers me is that unless some positive impact can be made we run the risk of missing our window of opportunity to influence these two girls. And we must influence them; we have a responsibility to do just that. Outside the church doors they have a million things clamoring for their attention. School, music, TV, sports, clubs, video games, cell phones, movies, books the list is endless. In church we have a scant 2 or 3 hours to help them to come to the conclusion that God matters, church matters, our fellow brothers and sisters matter. I worked with a woman who attended church but no one in her family did. She would try to impact her grown children and remind them that you couldn’t use God as a spare tire. Only taking Him out when you’re stranded and when everything is going smoothly, keep Him locked up in the trunk. I fear that unless we can make a difference, our 2 young girls will be looking for road-side assistance instead of having the ability to contact God directly.

It would be nice if I could say that here is the answer. Sadly, I don’t have a quick and easy one to give. Here is what I do know. I wasn’t always this aware. As a young girl my mind wandered in church, although bringing a magazine of any kind to church was never going to happen, I wasn’t immune to being distracted or not really paying attention to what was happening during a service. But I was also fortunate that my older sisters in Christ took an interest in me. They interacted with me and tried to understand where I was coming from and maybe more importantly where I was going. They impacted my life. When I think about the times I confessed silly things to my older sisters in Christ and how they were always attentive to me, listening carefully and offering good, sound advice, I wince a little and have an overwhelming need to nominate them for a medal of honor or something. If the work of the Lord is one eternal round, then it is my turn to be involved and interested and invest in the future of the young women in the making around me. I realize that I can’t just look at them and say nothing, that I should be compelled to be attentive to them, to try to begin a dialog, to listen when I really want to correct, to offer understanding when it would be easier to just tell them what I would do in a similar situation. If I could do this, with God’s help of course, I might be able to make an impact; we might be able to make an impact. And maybe, just maybe, the love of God that has been planted deep within us will triumph over the distractions of waterproof mascara.

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What I've Gleaned Today

I suppose one could write about anything. The possibilities are endless. I told my blogging buddy that my mind was flooded with so many thoughts I felt like Russell Crow in The Beautiful Mind. Honestly, I’m a scribbler and often throughout the day I find myself looking for scraps of paper to jot down anything from a quote, to a handy tip, “How to” instructions or a myriad of advice on a plethora of subjects. The gleaned information is haphazardly tucked away as not to be lost. (Ha) It can be found anywhere; in pockets, drawers, tablets, between the pages of books, in the console of the car or in a stash of paper at the bottom of my purse.


Honestly though, I love that stuff!

You might wonder if I’ve found anything worthy of squirreling away today. Well yes, as a matter of fact, I have. But I have to tell you that my impulse to collect things does not stop at information. For me, garage sales are a favorite weekend activity. (Funny, I’m visiting my daughter this past weekend and she has the same system of scouring the paper for these neighborhood sales, cutting them out and taping them to a sheet of paper in a very systematic way. I find this out on Saturday morning when at 8:45 our eyes meet, we grab our bags and sunglasses and scramble out the door and as soon as I’m in the car she hands me the ads from a local paper that look as though I’ve prepared it myself. I buckle in and we’re off.) Sort of like storm chasers, this is very serious business. I know one lady who won’t take anyone with her because she has to move from house to house with lightening speed and doesn’t have the patience to drag anyone along. I know how she feels, you really have to have the right partner for this kind of calculated fun; fast with an eye for the good stuff. Sometimes the not-so-good stuff may be scooped up in a flurry to get in and out so quickly; making snap decisions as what to take and what should stay behind. You’ve seen the Wizard of Oz, right? The house, the cow, the witch on the bicycle, swoosh, all scooped up and gone in a matter of minutes. (We’re not storm chasers, we are the tornado. Ahhh! Just talking about it makes we wish that it were Saturday morning again)

We began by hitting a few garage sales. As we come upon the first house I immediately notice a table where a variety of books are stacked. One in particular looked somewhat aged, its title screaming out to me, “How to Torture Your Mind.” I smiled and thought ‘I already know, I’m married, aren’t I.’ Anyway, after leafing through the pages, nothing really grabs me and when I see a mathematical equation I realize the real torture for me would be having to read it. (I’m really looking for books with little bits of wisdom, poems and inspirational quotes; old religious books, etc.) I put the book down deciding not to take it home; not having met the criteria, I pass on mind torture for now. However, we go on to find a clear strawberry paperweight, a mini hummingbird feeder and a hanging potpourri bulb with a cork in the bottom that some potter took time and careful attention to make. Three small items that are headed for their own special place at my house, re-homed and appreciated. (I feel happy when I look at them; the only criteria for a garage sale purchase) I can imagine the hummingbirds enjoying their new feeder on the shady side of the house; my favorite little nook where I often lay in my hammock under a peach tree. Ahh…what bliss!

Back to the subject of gleaning words, thoughts and quotes, I don’t look for them, they find me. This uncontrollable urge to collect the aforementioned may have spawned from hearing the verse and quip my grandfather often recited. We never knew where the expressions or rhymes came from but they delighted the entire family. His recitations were always greeted with smiles. I have tried to collect all of his sayings posthumously, but I admit, that when recited today, not one person in the family can produce the sound or delight that came forth when my grandfather spoke.

My father has a fantastic memory and is known as one who is able to quote much. It just spills out in his sermons effortlessly. I know there was never a deliberate effort to memorize on his part. I suppose it was just his love of words, in essence, that has captured so many wonderful things to be retold at will. (And here I am with that same love, I suppose, yet can remember little, hence the need to record everything. It reminds me of two gentlemen in our church. They were both great men, learned in the scripture and wonderful speakers. A wife of one of the men was heard to say, ‘Wil had it in the head, but (her husband) Furnier had it in the bag.’ (She was speaking of their knowledge) Everyone laughed. She said, ‘Don’t laugh, some people don’t even have it in the bag.’ (That’s me and my blogging buddy. She has it in the head and I have it in the bag…or, I’m trying to get it in the bag. Hey, where’s the bag?)

Back to the subject at hand - it’s not always in a sermon, little bits of wisdom or an inspiring story can be heard anywhere from almost anyone. (Another quote: Learn from everyone you meet.) After returning home, it just so happens that the house was vacant and PBS was airing an inspiring special on the life of Pete Seeger: singer/songwriter. His wife said of him, “His idea was to get the world singing – not to be the singer.” Amazingly, he affected people and they, indeed, did sing with him, "We Shall Overcome," "This Land Is Your Land" and "Turn, Turn, Turn" to name a few.

It makes one pause to wonder what it might be like to possess a clear and defined gift or ability that touches so many people in a positive way. Wouldn’t it be wonderful? I am relegated to the fact that I am me and I must work with my own talents and abilities. “By small means the Lord can bring about great things.” – I Nephi 16:29

Quote: Don’t wait for opportunities to do great things, but do the little things in a great way.
Who knows when our deeds or actions may affect one or more people in a great way… or even in a small way, yet positively unforgettable.

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Introducing...

I sit staring at the blank window where the inaugural post of this blog should be, watching the cursor blink. Time seems to tick very slowly and I wonder, not for the first time, how many times a minute does that thing blink? This is a stalling tactic. I am consumed with the idea that the words committed to this box should be fantastic, witty and profound. The need to explain our small place in the swirling vortex of the world of blogging is great but I find that the thoughts that I have come forth at an agonizingly slow rate. Why? Why is it that in my daily life I can see something that would be a perfect topic to blog about and here I am struggling to write a few paragraphs of introduction

Here it is the unvarnished introduction. The Jot and Tittle. When considering names for this blog it wasn’t until the definition of jot and tittle was found that the name was decided on. The jot and tittle, to paraphrase, means two small things which could make a difference. We are two Christian women that love the scriptures and the written word. Our premise is to be able to put here, for your consideration, things that we find interesting, amazing or sometimes aggravating hoping that it might shed some light in an ever darkening world.

Feedback is important and can fuel a great discussion and we welcome it, however, flames are not. May the coming posts prove to be everything our thoughts hope they’ll be. And may we be able to make a difference.

There, the first post is done and the monkey is off our proverbial back!

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