"Wisdom is the principal..."*

In five days it will be my 41^st birthday (July 4^th for those that don’t feel like doing the math and yes, really July 4^th. My blogging buddy will no doubt be surprised that I’m even mentioning this event.) And although the age itself doesn’t bother me (much), it does provide me an opportunity to reflect. I wonder sometimes why the path I thought my life would take has been so different from the actual path. Not different bad, just different. They say that with age comes wisdom, obviously said by someone that possessed it. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not totally inept. I do not run with scissors, I never remove the tags on my pillows or mattresses (you know the ones that say do not remove) and I always wear my seatbelt. I’m talking about the wisdom that life experience is supposed to give you. Oh, I have gained some experience it would be impossible to reach this age and not have learned a few things, but I think, at times, spiritually I feel grass green.


Perhaps I’m feeling nostalgic or melancholy, I’m not sure. I know at times I have surely failed God. Those times I feel like the scripture that says ever learning and never coming to the knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 3:7). I ask myself often if this is normal? I’ve been baptized for 24 years and is it normal to feel unwise at times? I wonder how often in this walk with the Lord will I feel like I’m still “seeing through the glass darkly" (1 Corinthians 13:12).

When I am able to really, truly sit and ponder things objectively, I realize something. That in spite of my shortcomings and failures, real or imagined, God has blessed my life. What would I change if I could? That’s impossible to answer, but if I changed even one thing, I would not be the person I am, the person God has brought along this far. I am a work in progress, with successes and failures, sorrows and joys, I am still moving forward on the path. Not my path but God’s path for me. Another scripture comes to mind "...for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." (Philippians 4:11) If I can learn that there may be hope for me yet.

Hmm, could this be a glimmer of wisdom? Who can say...

* Proverbs 4:7